I wannas sexs uuuuu
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
