You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
