I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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