I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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