flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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