her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
