i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I see more hoeing in ur future
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
