I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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