Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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