ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
