After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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