Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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