I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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