I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
