I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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