Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
