the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
