I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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