is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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