Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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