do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
