dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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