over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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