She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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