i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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