i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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