I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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