Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
