Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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