I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
