It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
