So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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