You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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