1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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