I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
