I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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