Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
