I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
