So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
