a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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