So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
