Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Randomize
