my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
