I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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