He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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