no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
