I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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