You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
