haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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