Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
