Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
