you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
