goodnight i made you a song goodbye
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Never joke about your clitoris.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
